Anonymous asked:
brevoortformspring answered:
I’d hammer in the morning.
*I’d* hammer in the evening.
And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins
@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!
It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth
SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.
NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED
YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.
It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front
I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.
Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.
Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?
cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder
Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time
actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.
Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!
what the actual fuck?
Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:
For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.
For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.
In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)
Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.
Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.
American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.
(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)
I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.
One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.
Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!
Oh my ZOD I love that
my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.
we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.
Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.
It’s served can-style and you slice it when you want a piece
renaissance in the 21st century
some more
the WHAT??
okay, found her
some more good replies from the notes
i didnt expect these to hit so hard but then they kept going and going….my god
Ok. Thank you. Carry on.
ALTOnly the subtlest metaphors on this Tumblr.
This works as a metaphor for children but also it works perfectly well when played totally straight because horse people are actually like this
it literally took me three solid readings through this to realize that it wasn’t necessarily about horse people, because they are exactly like this
“Does this remind you of anything?”
Yea Horse Girls why
Leverage had a lot of well-researched things to say about the real world, but the one I always come back to, from The Double Blind Job:
Sophie: These are not small fines. Last year, my department handled a case where the company had to pay out $2.5 billion.
Hoffman:
Oh, yeah. Everybody heard about that. But what the news didn’t tell you
is that that company made $16 billion on the same drug. That fine was
14% of the profit. 14%. That’s like tipping your waiter.
ALTI just posted a handful of diary comics from my week at the Appalachian Forest Stewardship Residency over on my patreon! Here's a free sample. New goal in life: vulture grandparenthood
it's halloween and this is your loot
ALT(generated these with DALL-E3, because this is where the weird ai-generated text lives now)
You're in her dms I'm - I'm actually not sure where I am.
It looks like her downloads, maybe? It's kinda cold.
Disorganized, too. I'm...
...
I'm not certain I can get out.
I'm in her dms too, now. I got out of her downloads but not out-out. It's still... Too small. The maze is sharp on my mind.
The angles cut me when I try to think.
madmaudlingoes
